Stomach Explodes

There’s plenty of cinnamon in the role. when you love them and they don’t love you back… roll. Don’t stick around for them to realize you’re the one. They’re not going to realize that because -to them- you’re not. Sure, I never told them how I felt – but they told everyone how they felt about me. That they weren’t interested and pointed out all my deficiencies.
And now I roll.
The pain won’t end. It builds in my stomach and explodes. But that’s okay. Because I’m on my own. And they’ll find happiness on their own.
They don’t need me as friend or lover. I know. That’s what I love about them …. their strength their beauty even though they don’t see it… but I can never be the one to make them see it. no one can do that; only they can look down and realize their soul their heart shines brighter….

Credit and Thanks to Aston; Maker of the Cinnamon Rolls and tolerator of my #basic photos. 

Question, Man

I glance back at the sound of footsteps. There’s a man approaching rapidly from behind me. I just got off the bus, and I’m assuming he did too.
“Hey where’s your accent from.” Dear Lord he’s daned to talk to me. As they say in the office – he’s being straightforward to – but his dick is definitely sideways in his pants because … well room… and “Texas” “Oh man. Are you going home to your boyfriend?” “Yes.” “A, that makes sense I bet you’ve got two boyfriends.” “nope.” “Do you drink?” “I’m more of a smoker.” “Oh that’s nice. Have you got weed on you now?” narrows eyes 7/11 approaching up ahead… he turns off. “Well if your boyfriend every messes up I’ve got a name and a number.” i’m sure you do “I’ve never done a texas girl before” #goals.

“You know what makes it so hard? That you’re so pretty Monkey. If you weren’t so pretty this would be a lot easier.”
After every what is supposed to be a one night stand then a leave me alone… this is why sex isn’t worth it… they always want more… always want to commit. like fuck off buddy.
“Okay, what I’m hearing is that you just were horny and that’s why you had sex with me. Is that right?” “Yep.” “So you’re a lier. Everything you said about how you like being with me and want to be with me forever when we were wasted and fucking on the couch is a lie?”
am I the only one who sees the gap in the logic here?

I’m ‘reading’ I am Legend right now… or I’m carrying it around with me and trying to be motivated to read it… but it really annoys me that there are literally no female characters except for the female vampires that he completely sexualizes and experiments on. like fuck this man.


I am at war. A greater war then the one within myself wages all around me. I go into the kitchen, I walk to the sink, I turn on the sink, and the war rages around me. The struggle of keeping food down when flies are swarming around the room at a dizzying rate – I watch two of them fucking on the fruit fly trap – ON not IN – just casually fucking on top of it – a literal ‘fuck you’ from the fruit flies – and that’s why I know this is war.
>they’re breeding but I am one – a one-woman insane hand clapper against the mob – I jump around clapping my hands at them desperate to catch them in between – nothing but complete annihilation will satisfy me.
>He’s laughing at me again. I know he is. “Is this what it means to support yourself as a woman?” Saying goodbye to him was the best decision I made – best choice I made last year… now if only to get rid of the flies… the mold will have to wait.

really though… what am I going to do with the above quote? Nothing… just take up space… basically life right there… nothing… just take up space. I take up space, therefore I am. trying to take up less and less…





just sent out a snap about a chicken in the dog tee shirt. Hope it wasn’t a frozen dog but a frozen chicken and don’t want to know what happened to the dog or what’s going to happen to the chicken but really hope it wasn’t a frozen dog in the teeshirt and that he’s going to eat it.



/* I got up and left. I quit. Sent him my polite little resignation and excused myself. Thanked him for the opportunity and as I walked out; flames. */

She was wearing a white dress. Behind her they stare watching, or at least she pretends they do, she’s not turning back to check, not turning back at all. She throws the forms in the recycling ben, won’t be needing those anymore, won’t be getting no special health plan, how much health coverage covers standing up for yourself? Not much. Suck a dick dipshits. That’s what they said but in the singular and not with such ‘vulgar’ language. You see now I’m just going to buy you somethings and touch you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable. But just suck it down and put up with a brave smile – we’re paying you to smile after all
So with fingers blazing like the now iconic pocket cat, she storms on a silent wave across the wires severs connecting messages sending.
Won’t be seeing her around no more.

Cuz boots were made.



The thing about Jellyfish is they’re awesome. Found the little buddy below on Etsy. And Princess Jellyfish anyone?


like great and don’t look all whistful
this is normal – he doesn’t want to get in my pants and why on earth am I being so sensitive and accusing him of only trying to get in my ‘Glory Hole’? – nope, no big deal he bought me a really nice gift and escorts me out the door and tells me his life story and his secrets… no, he just wants to be good ‘friends’ … cuz this is beyond manager at this point… debated waiting to tell me either today or tomorrow that he could be leaving… ‘because tomorrow is a better day.” (it was) christmas … not going to get a better day.. or worse… to share someitng ‘sad’ … sure he just wants to be friends… even though he says ‘I don’t have any reason to stay here. nothing tying me here’ sure it’s all in my mind… being vain and thinking that implying that I could be enough of a reason for him to make a tie with?! sure sure sure all in my head… just super angry…
for no reason…
i’m sure… sureeee… sureeeeeee




name: CherryCoconutSoup

her name is Cherry Coconut Soup. Nope; all one word like; CherryCoconutSoup. She goes by Coconut because it is less weird than Cherry in that she got tired of putting up with all the pop-your-cherry jokes; because she is beautiful at least in the conventional sense which she finds boring to no end; sure she’s got long blonde hair that on normal days behaves in a way that guys seem to want to touch and her legs are as they say ‘endless’ in the sense that she’s 5’9″ and leggy; sure the sons of concord or whatever those weirdo’s names are wrote a song that might as well be about her ‘leggy leggy leggy blondeee’ but she hates that song and only brings it up with the douche bags who like to point out ‘dude, and you’re legs, like i hadn’t noticed before but they’re endless.’ it’s so cliché it pains her who gives a damn about what’s in her mind as long as she keeps smiling; because smiling is her job she makes smiling her favorite because work is her favorite and work is smiling that’s what pays the bills frowning brings down the hammer and no one likes a debbie downer; really you look at yourself and think about it; do you like seeing a frown? or would you rather click your heels and remember to TurnThatFrownUpsideDown and common’ girl break it down! She dances sometimes but mostly she just gets angry at all the men that shove and push to grind on her like no-I-dont-actually-enjoy-the-feel-of-you-r-errect-penis-shoving-agaist-my-soft-skirt-through-your-rough-as-fuck-jeans and yes I do actually prefer grinding with my girls even though they are not the lesbians they’re telling you they are watch as one of them makes out with the guy at the bar ‘what you doing making out with my girl?!’ naw admit it… everyone prefers the girl who smiles.
not the one who thinks.

There’s blood all over the floor

Yeah the dude wouldn’t tap out. Okay cool. Snap broke his leg.
Man that’s awesome!

This is how guys talk. At least the ones at work. They feel the need to be macho and brag about how the seriously injured another because the other didn’t tell them not to. The not saying to stop is a green light to go. It’s not just the whole with women – it’s with anyone. As long as you don’t say enough loud and clear, prepared to be trampled to death. The elephants are coming.

Another guy; drunk coming into the lobby says too loudly, not that he can help it; he’s drunk after all, “There’s blood all over the floor all around me like man I’m on my period.”

I look at my co-workers. Both male and both making a shit load more than me. They look at me. I impersonate the man “‘I’m on my period.’ Well FUCK YOU BUDDY!!!” they both laugh one of them joins in “You don’t know what it’s LIKE!” And the other “You begin throwing tampons at him.”

They continue to joke. I mean yeah… I’ve actually felt the need to throw tampons at men before… they just don’t get it. “I understand.” Sure you do buddy… sure you do.

Relationship Means What Exactly

“You’re the one who defines your relatinoships. You’re the one who gets to decide what comes in and what stays. Remember, it’s about you. You’re the one who gets to decide what to do. ”

That’s what he says. My new friend at the café, he says it’s up to me to define what kind of relationships I have and with whom. That it is all about me, in the sense of deciding what makes me feel good and whose company I want to keep. Or is it ALL about me. I rather think not. Because if it was the sky would stay a beautiful shade of purple and the rain would taste like love.

Relationship. That word gets tossed around so much these days and no one seems to know what it means, and yet everyone has a concept of what they think it means and they will defend it to the death. Try asking someone what being in a relationship means. “oh. You mean like dating?” Sure. But no that’s a connotation the word has come to mean, but it’s a specification of the word to meaning only one thing when the application of the word is much more broad and yet much more narrow.

The use of the word relationship, according to Google Books, peaked in the last years of the nineties. I like to think that this is because everyone was so concerned about the relationship that the new milium would have on computers, but more it probably has something to do with the concern of the relationship between private and public life in terms of Bill. But then again, maybe it’s popularity peaked then because of FRIENDS and all the interesting, including lesbian love, relationships in the show.

Whatever the reason, i’m sure someone else can nail down the reason and you know what? good for you, but mostly the point shows that theres a connection, dare we say relationship between the more a word is used and a greater amount of confusion as to what it actually means since at a greater use it is being applied in a greater area and then becomes associated with one particular meaning after repeated experiences by individuals which then spread the connotation amongst themselves and then the whole world (of english speakers mind you.. no Japanese oopies here).

The Oxford English Dictionaries (the OED for those of you in da know) defines ‘relationship’ as: NOUN 1. The way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. 1.1 The state of being connected by blood or marriage. 1.2 The way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave towards each other. 1.3 An emotional and sexual association between two peoople.

1.3 is where the confusion comes in as people like to us the word relationship as all encompassing. When I say, I have a good relationship with him/her people assume we’re dating if it’s a male, and assume I’m straight, and if it’s a female they assume she’s some kind of ‘friend.’

Now let me take myself out of the equation – because frankly i’m rather boring. So now if relationship is always used in the sexual sense, instead of a more platonic sense where the relating between two or more pepole could be good or bad and sexual or not: enter dating and FB status. Personally, facebook is what ruined it all. It determined that everyone is is some kind of limbo of having a set relationship status meaning that you’re either – single, taken, in a relationship with ‘x’, or it’s complicated. There is not option to bow out. You can ignore it but then the connotation is ‘it’s complicated’ or ‘single’ basically if you don’t check one your ‘available’ and fair game on the sexual dating feild.

This is why I’ve decided I’m in a serious relationship with Coffee. It’s complicated but it’s also not. Coffee has my heart and my soul, everything i do revolves around my relationship with coffee. Will there be coffee there? No? no thank you kind sir. Do you like coffee? No? We have nothing more to discuss here; move along.

This saves me the hassle of ‘are you single’? nope and yes. I’m single when i’m not sexually envolved sure. But my heart is always taken. Because no one wants to be labeled as being stuck in a permanent state of singleness or takenness so easier to just pick something annoying to go against the sociatly standards of single or taken.

Bleh. If you read all that shit you’re a trooper and I thank you. Good luck defining relationship in your own life. In the meantime, coffee is calling and I must go.