Toby.

Last night I saw you in my dreams a boy from yesterday now with me. I didn’t see your face at first just your golden skin and your hands your hands ready to make love make me sing set me on fire and accept my fire my passion my bawling tears from you that come when I come when I come when you ask me too when you push me and pull and tickle until it comes it all comes out those tears – that’s what your hands spoke of your skin your skin shinning from an inner sun radiating outward in the night of the moon sun reflection reflecting on thought you were gone for good that there was no one left thought I would never see you again and I’m crying and your telling me to stop but not in the stop stop kind of way but in the comforting holding kind of way the so close can’t see your face kind of way right away and then your just there and I know I will be and we will be forever for the rest of the time we have in the short time I won’t have to say goodbye again that we’ll go together and I don’t ever want you to go away again not for anything and I won’t ever go I won’t ever be alone and kicking myself and wondering why why it went went away the road calling my name a sin a curse the road not now not again it doesn’t matter shh shh shh it’s over but it’s not but the not being not being in your arms is over awaken in the night dry salt water and eyes that sting. Last night, I saw you in a dream.

https://open.spotify.com/embed/user/2157ntjtci64afjj2z72kfcoa/playlist/68yIDDFOkepALbQ8je85LV

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Dear OCD,

You were there all along/ in the corner of every song/ in the back of each mind state/ not even creeping/ just sitting there waiting/ for me to realize/ and now I do/ that what was wrong all along/ was what was wrong in the first place/ you.

 

When you realize it was your ocd that caused you to go insane because no one ever got you help for the ocd before it was way way way too late.

 

with Love,

Piper Kameltoux

 

Dear Shawn,

I don’t know why I changed my last name to Kameltoux, but I did. I don’t know why things turned out the way they did between us, but they did. Sure maybe it’s because they’ve now officially found out whats wrong with me by awarding me the disease that officially says ‘we don’t know what’s wrong with you’ aka bi-polar.

with Love,

Piper Kameltoux