unfinished

agitation is deep/ unseated it’s not safe/ not the kind of agitation/ the agitation you/ can control/ an agitated agitation stirring up riot within/ for what?/ you’re not exactly sure/ But you’re determined/ to keep striking out/ hitting harder to hit deeper/ going wider instead of deeper/ shallow cove of thoughts unfinished/ like everything else in your life/
love you had the last time/ you loved for the last time/ you’ve been loved before and loved after/ but only daring to fall once/ jumping and deciding/ don’t down/ it’s fine/ that’s best and usually only way that it – love – is done… cutting too deep/ sending you, too far

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WolvesTower

The wolves are coming down around the bend. You can hear their paws churning up the snow like a magic wand blender pound pound pound crunch crunch crunch. You’re inside. You’ve got your feet kicked up on an antique table – one that will eventually become an heirloom – except it already is – you like to forget that your grandma didn’t die last year after selling everything she couldn’t seal in the coffin – more surprised that she didn’t cremate herself in the house – still it was nice of the neighbors to have an estate sale thereby allowing you to refurbish your home – once your grandmothers home pronto.
But the wolves. They’ve been doing this every night. There’s been a problem with wolves once the intactivist starting promoting the rebuilding and reestablishing of the forest – nice and good in theory but no less than 3 cats have already been lost to the intactivist. Your girlfriend’s was one of them – when you still couldn’t manage to cry at the little cat funeral she had she broke up with you. But here’s the thing – emotions aren’t your thing and she knows that. She just came to the incorrect conclusion that if you really loved her – like you say you do everytime you cum – you would at least squirt a lemon in your eye to cry.

she wakes up with a start …. “Aaaaaooooooooo Aaaaaaaaaoooooo you hurt me now i’ve gotta let you go.”

“Habits” (Stay High) by Tove Lo: https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/62N2JSA0jHmSH7Va9t7hIf
“Coyotes” by Wild Belle: https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/775ZnZKfoXpthFYQv5zHbJ

Stu?

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just sent out a snap about a chicken in the dog tee shirt. Hope it wasn’t a frozen dog but a frozen chicken and don’t want to know what happened to the dog or what’s going to happen to the chicken but really hope it wasn’t a frozen dog in the teeshirt and that he’s going to eat it.

grab me tight

pick me out of your box of bento
that’s what I’m here for/ to be touched/ and don’t feel guilt/  hasn’t crossed your mind though/ sometimes I think about you and feel sad/ so I started a literature club in your honor/ and one by one we trickle out/ guess it should be called the suicide club/ but that’s already been taken/ by fake characters/ like me and you/ and there are lines on the ceiling
but I keep looking for gold.

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name: CherryCoconutSoup

her name is Cherry Coconut Soup. Nope; all one word like; CherryCoconutSoup. She goes by Coconut because it is less weird than Cherry in that she got tired of putting up with all the pop-your-cherry jokes; because she is beautiful at least in the conventional sense which she finds boring to no end; sure she’s got long blonde hair that on normal days behaves in a way that guys seem to want to touch and her legs are as they say ‘endless’ in the sense that she’s 5’9″ and leggy; sure the sons of concord or whatever those weirdo’s names are wrote a song that might as well be about her ‘leggy leggy leggy blondeee’ but she hates that song and only brings it up with the douche bags who like to point out ‘dude, and you’re legs, like i hadn’t noticed before but they’re endless.’ it’s so cliché it pains her who gives a damn about what’s in her mind as long as she keeps smiling; because smiling is her job she makes smiling her favorite because work is her favorite and work is smiling that’s what pays the bills frowning brings down the hammer and no one likes a debbie downer; really you look at yourself and think about it; do you like seeing a frown? or would you rather click your heels and remember to TurnThatFrownUpsideDown and common’ girl break it down! She dances sometimes but mostly she just gets angry at all the men that shove and push to grind on her like no-I-dont-actually-enjoy-the-feel-of-you-r-errect-penis-shoving-agaist-my-soft-skirt-through-your-rough-as-fuck-jeans and yes I do actually prefer grinding with my girls even though they are not the lesbians they’re telling you they are watch as one of them makes out with the guy at the bar ‘what you doing making out with my girl?!’ naw admit it… everyone prefers the girl who smiles.
not the one who thinks.

There’s blood all over the floor

Yeah the dude wouldn’t tap out. Okay cool. Snap broke his leg.
Man that’s awesome!

This is how guys talk. At least the ones at work. They feel the need to be macho and brag about how the seriously injured another because the other didn’t tell them not to. The not saying to stop is a green light to go. It’s not just the whole with women – it’s with anyone. As long as you don’t say enough loud and clear, prepared to be trampled to death. The elephants are coming.

Another guy; drunk coming into the lobby says too loudly, not that he can help it; he’s drunk after all, “There’s blood all over the floor all around me like man I’m on my period.”

I look at my co-workers. Both male and both making a shit load more than me. They look at me. I impersonate the man “‘I’m on my period.’ Well FUCK YOU BUDDY!!!” they both laugh one of them joins in “You don’t know what it’s LIKE!” And the other “You begin throwing tampons at him.”

They continue to joke. I mean yeah… I’ve actually felt the need to throw tampons at men before… they just don’t get it. “I understand.” Sure you do buddy… sure you do.

DontWannaHearit

“I don’t want to hear it Monkey. I just broke up with my girlfriend a week ago and I’m really learning about what it means to separate from someone.”

to separate from someone. It sounds painful and it is. It’s a coming apart of the pieces of the project you built together. The inside jokes that will be left behind in a time when there was the other one to get them. Now it’s just me. Smiling sadly and looking at my hands wondering what to do with them in photographs. At least there was what there was for a time and in that time those moments are. But here now they’re no more and no more is the world we had together. It’s a closing of the doors and looking forward and breaking off of the rearview mirror.

“It’ll be good. Give you time to start investing in new people.”

And so one starts over and one starts over. No longer two no longer.