Question, Man

I glance back at the sound of footsteps. There’s a man approaching rapidly from behind me. I just got off the bus, and I’m assuming he did too.
“Hey where’s your accent from.” Dear Lord he’s daned to talk to me. As they say in the office – he’s being straightforward to – but his dick is definitely sideways in his pants because … well room… and “Texas” “Oh man. Are you going home to your boyfriend?” “Yes.” “A, that makes sense I bet you’ve got two boyfriends.” “nope.” “Do you drink?” “I’m more of a smoker.” “Oh that’s nice. Have you got weed on you now?” narrows eyes 7/11 approaching up ahead… he turns off. “Well if your boyfriend every messes up I’ve got a name and a number.” i’m sure you do “I’ve never done a texas girl before” #goals.

“You know what makes it so hard? That you’re so pretty Monkey. If you weren’t so pretty this would be a lot easier.”
After every what is supposed to be a one night stand then a leave me alone… this is why sex isn’t worth it… they always want more… always want to commit. like fuck off buddy.
“Okay, what I’m hearing is that you just were horny and that’s why you had sex with me. Is that right?” “Yep.” “So you’re a lier. Everything you said about how you like being with me and want to be with me forever when we were wasted and fucking on the couch is a lie?”
am I the only one who sees the gap in the logic here?

I’m ‘reading’ I am Legend right now… or I’m carrying it around with me and trying to be motivated to read it… but it really annoys me that there are literally no female characters except for the female vampires that he completely sexualizes and experiments on. like fuck this man.


There’s blood all over the floor

Yeah the dude wouldn’t tap out. Okay cool. Snap broke his leg.
Man that’s awesome!

This is how guys talk. At least the ones at work. They feel the need to be macho and brag about how the seriously injured another because the other didn’t tell them not to. The not saying to stop is a green light to go. It’s not just the whole with women – it’s with anyone. As long as you don’t say enough loud and clear, prepared to be trampled to death. The elephants are coming.

Another guy; drunk coming into the lobby says too loudly, not that he can help it; he’s drunk after all, “There’s blood all over the floor all around me like man I’m on my period.”

I look at my co-workers. Both male and both making a shit load more than me. They look at me. I impersonate the man “‘I’m on my period.’ Well FUCK YOU BUDDY!!!” they both laugh one of them joins in “You don’t know what it’s LIKE!” And the other “You begin throwing tampons at him.”

They continue to joke. I mean yeah… I’ve actually felt the need to throw tampons at men before… they just don’t get it. “I understand.” Sure you do buddy… sure you do.

He Calls Her Kitten

Cats don’t always pick the right people to love. Take my mom for example. She fell in love the father of her feeder. The same man who would kick her across the room every time she tried to love on him.

I wish I could say that I learned from her mistakes. But I’ve devoted myself to a man named Evan – and make sure you pronounce it right – he’s very particular as that one girl found out after getting dumped in the cold – it’s ‘Eh-Van’ not ‘Ee-Van’ and especially not Alvin. That’s his father’s name.

I first came in contact with him at the kennal – i was left there when my mom was adopted again after being rescued from that terrible man. In walked Evan – the soon to be love of my life.

“Yeah I want a cat. I had one growing up and they’re great.”

The truth is more depressing, he just dumped or been dumped by – which he still refuses to admit – his 3-month girlfriend, which for him was a long time, but all things considered an even longer time for her. She was – or is, i suppose – hispanic. He voted for Trump.

“Yeah that was when I knew we weren’t going to work out. It was one of the red flags. She didn’t understand the need for the wall and was all about the emasculation of males. She didn’t understand my work.” His work being that of propogating the needs of oppressed white males.

“You know it’s funny but what are considered minority groups are actually the majority. They hold the vote. When really it’s intelligent white men who are in the minority. We’ve been beat upon enough with all this white guilt. It’s time for us to reclaim what’s ours and not keep getting beat down by women and minorities.” He ordered a bottle of Trump wine that he drank alone on election night. Trust me. I would know.

I was there.

*disclaimer – the above is fictional and makes me, Mickey, writhe in anger against said ‘Evan’ if it’s not obvious from the tone of the writing.