I am at war. A greater war then the one within myself wages all around me. I go into the kitchen, I walk to the sink, I turn on the sink, and the war rages around me. The struggle of keeping food down when flies are swarming around the room at a dizzying rate – I watch two of them fucking on the fruit fly trap – ON not IN – just casually fucking on top of it – a literal ‘fuck you’ from the fruit flies – and that’s why I know this is war.
>they’re breeding but I am one – a one-woman insane hand clapper against the mob – I jump around clapping my hands at them desperate to catch them in between – nothing but complete annihilation will satisfy me.
>He’s laughing at me again. I know he is. “Is this what it means to support yourself as a woman?” Saying goodbye to him was the best decision I made – best choice I made last year… now if only to get rid of the flies… the mold will have to wait.
really though… what am I going to do with the above quote? Nothing… just take up space… basically life right there… nothing… just take up space. I take up space, therefore I am. trying to take up less and less…