it’s so peaceful here… after the war has faded back into the walls the ghost are growing fainter… each year a nail in the coffin of what has happened here… the stones are growing faded the vegetation overcoming what hours of talking never could… peace talks are nothing… as the open arms of moving on and letting go… not forgetting… never forgotten… but not so close… not still bleeding… tourniquet above my head… scars not to be reopened… graves best left
the anger is real feel it don’t let it go until it’s felt fully and then it will evaporate into the air the anger of losing you to a man because you lied and never intended to give tacos a chance breathe soft but deep and let you go before I go home into your arms the arms meant for another this is a bad idea i know but i can’t stop circling your world can’t stop wondering about you and entrapped by you I once was no longer this is probably a bad idea in the going back they say don’t go back but what they fuck do they know and who are they the voices in my head obviously picked up from songs and cues of social nature of social nature of social nature and i broke the record gave the love away and evaporated my heart done i’m done.
<start><could it be that i overestimated you over esteemed who you are in the distance between us started to pretend that you were my magic man when really you’re just a lame man from the suburbs living your life longing for a love i could never give you never give you what you wanted when you wanted it so i ran as i always do and now just roman ta sizing you my old lover my once friend now departed in a land of no more you but in my dreams you’re amazing you’re not you just a big figment of what i think i need but what i need isn’t you if it was it would of happened back then when you had the chance to bring this to a happy end so good bye good bye goodbye again and again and again i’m not coming back to you not turning back to your lover my old no longer friend><end>
let’s rephrase it and give it new meaning
they call it fat – I call it feeding
you say yellow – I say banana
don’t try to trick me
I’m not your purple panda
and he told me that i’m crazy
and he put me on the drugs
and i flushed them down the trash
and smashed his face along too
i don’t want to think like you
sorry you don’t like my mind
but this little mind of mine
i’m going to let it shine
they lock you up if you’re skinny
they laugh you out if you’re not
there’s no winning in this world
but at least don’t let them take your thoughts
so I flushed them down the trash
i don’t want them to control it
going to lie in bed and thrash
going to think these thoughts and know
this little mind of mine of mine
gonna let it shine shine shine
There’s a castle out there/ somewhere/ where I met my dreams/ the floors are floating/ never the same/ and the people maligning/ but beautiful/ with smiles that lead on/ and words that make mistakes/ people from my past/ people I’m yet to see/ all floating there together/ in different spaces/ all in one/ castle/ where I meet my dreams
Life is hard and I feel like quitting most of the time. If adulting was hard before it’s impossible now. Descending into the madness of my mind. Of not being in my body. But existing in it somehow still.
I’ve turned negative/ something inside me has gone cold/ I’m being broken/ slow, slow fast/ a crushing that makes me lie down and cry/ rest the laurels I thought I had/ on a mat of stone/
Last night I saw you in my dreams a boy from yesterday now with me. I didn’t see your face at first just your golden skin and your hands your hands ready to make love make me sing set me on fire and accept my fire my passion my bawling tears from you that come when I come when I come when you ask me too when you push me and pull and tickle until it comes it all comes out those tears – that’s what your hands spoke of your skin your skin shinning from an inner sun radiating outward in the night of the moon sun reflection reflecting on thought you were gone for good that there was no one left thought I would never see you again and I’m crying and your telling me to stop but not in the stop stop kind of way but in the comforting holding kind of way the so close can’t see your face kind of way right away and then your just there and I know I will be and we will be forever for the rest of the time we have in the short time I won’t have to say goodbye again that we’ll go together and I don’t ever want you to go away again not for anything and I won’t ever go I won’t ever be alone and kicking myself and wondering why why it went went away the road calling my name a sin a curse the road not now not again it doesn’t matter shh shh shh it’s over but it’s not but the not being not being in your arms is over awaken in the night dry salt water and eyes that sting. Last night, I saw you in a dream.
You were there all along/ in the corner of every song/ in the back of each mind state/ not even creeping/ just sitting there waiting/ for me to realize/ and now I do/ that what was wrong all along/ was what was wrong in the first place/ you.
When you realize it was your ocd that caused you to go insane because no one ever got you help for the ocd before it was way way way too late.
i miss you and i want you as i’m lying here longing for you/ she didn’t inspire this in me/ he didn’t leave a trace to remember/ there are ones who came before and you will come after / but come for me now/ i miss you and i want you/ and it’s burning me bad/ don’t leave me here waiting/ wondering where you are/ i don’t care i don’t care/ just as long as you let me/ come to you because you want me to/ i miss you and i want you/ and if you don’t say so now/ because the thoughts won’t stop/ and your lips are on mine
her’s her’s her’s/the voice screams/not yours not yours not yours/so give it away/give it away/that’s not the stuff/that belongs to you today/give it take the rest/chuck it in the air/burn external the fire of your ashifying heart