Tagged ps

loveConverse

Why don’t we love ourselves like we love our shoes?

My converse… these are shoes that have been places and seen things and carry on…. in my opinion they look more beautiful now that they are worn…. the stains and cracks….

Understandable to be sad when they get too worn. Too old.

But don’t start hating them… continue to love them and want them to last just a little bit longer… till finally you have to let them go.

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Helaughsatmywar

I am at war. A greater war then the one within myself wages all around me. I go into the kitchen, I walk to the sink, I turn on the sink, and the war rages around me. The struggle of keeping food down when flies are swarming around the room at a dizzying rate – I watch two of them fucking on the fruit fly trap – ON not IN – just casually fucking on top of it – a literal ‘fuck you’ from the fruit flies – and that’s why I know this is war.
>they’re breeding but I am one – a one-woman insane hand clapper against the mob – I jump around clapping my hands at them desperate to catch them in between – nothing but complete annihilation will satisfy me.
>He’s laughing at me again. I know he is. “Is this what it means to support yourself as a woman?” Saying goodbye to him was the best decision I made – best choice I made last year… now if only to get rid of the flies… the mold will have to wait.

really though… what am I going to do with the above quote? Nothing… just take up space… basically life right there… nothing… just take up space. I take up space, therefore I am. trying to take up less and less…

 

 

forwalkingaway

Bootsweremadeforwalkinganywayyouseeandoneofthesedaysnotgoingtoletyourbootswalkalloverme

/* I got up and left. I quit. Sent him my polite little resignation and excused myself. Thanked him for the opportunity and as I walked out; flames. */

She was wearing a white dress. Behind her they stare watching, or at least she pretends they do, she’s not turning back to check, not turning back at all. She throws the forms in the recycling ben, won’t be needing those anymore, won’t be getting no special health plan, how much health coverage covers standing up for yourself? Not much. Suck a dick dipshits. That’s what they said but in the singular and not with such ‘vulgar’ language. You see now I’m just going to buy you somethings and touch you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable. But just suck it down and put up with a brave smile – we’re paying you to smile after all
WELL NOT ENOUGH SHIT HEADS! EAT IT!
So with fingers blazing like the now iconic pocket cat, she storms on a silent wave across the wires severs connecting messages sending.
Won’t be seeing her around no more.

Cuz boots were made.

t-shirt-cat-showing-middle-finger-raw__605

#SaDDS

The thing about Jellyfish is they’re awesome. Found the little buddy below on Etsy. And Princess Jellyfish anyone?

backinthe90s1228171652

like great and don’t look all whistful
this is normal – he doesn’t want to get in my pants and why on earth am I being so sensitive and accusing him of only trying to get in my ‘Glory Hole’? – nope, no big deal he bought me a really nice gift and escorts me out the door and tells me his life story and his secrets… no, he just wants to be good ‘friends’ … cuz this is beyond manager at this point… debated waiting to tell me either today or tomorrow that he could be leaving… ‘because tomorrow is a better day.” (it was) christmas … not going to get a better day.. or worse… to share someitng ‘sad’ … sure he just wants to be friends… even though he says ‘I don’t have any reason to stay here. nothing tying me here’ sure it’s all in my mind… being vain and thinking that implying that I could be enough of a reason for him to make a tie with?! sure sure sure all in my head… just super angry…
for no reason…
i’m sure… sureeee… sureeeeeee

BUT IT’S ALL FINE!

“SUCK A DICK DUMB SHITS!”

suckadick122817

DontWannaHearit

“I don’t want to hear it Monkey. I just broke up with my girlfriend a week ago and I’m really learning about what it means to separate from someone.”

to separate from someone. It sounds painful and it is. It’s a coming apart of the pieces of the project you built together. The inside jokes that will be left behind in a time when there was the other one to get them. Now it’s just me. Smiling sadly and looking at my hands wondering what to do with them in photographs. At least there was what there was for a time and in that time those moments are. But here now they’re no more and no more is the world we had together. It’s a closing of the doors and looking forward and breaking off of the rearview mirror.

“It’ll be good. Give you time to start investing in new people.”

And so one starts over and one starts over. No longer two no longer.

Molly Screaming Inside

Molly just got a new job. The barista job was part-time and she was also looking to do something in hotels since the hospitality industry had always interested her, not by choice unless the drive of money counts as a choice. And – to be frank – she’d just read the Shining, yes children it was a book first, the Shining and was hoping to have her own Portland version of the experience. Minus Johnny of course.

Molly’s manager has asked her out not once but three times. She’s only been to work three times.

The first time was to help her move, since with Shelby her cat, she’s having a bit of a hard time finding a place to settle. That seemed harmless enough so she almost said sure, she didn’t have a lot of stuff to move and it would be nice to have an extra hand with the futon. But then she declined. Well, not declined just described her complete lack of possessions and the lack of there being anything to move.

He’s cool though. He likes the same shows she does and gets all her obscure Arrested Development and Archer references. Today, he offered to take her to an arcade downtown. She said she had work to do. He said, “Okay, go do your work, do whatever it is you need to do, then let me know if you want to go. I’m telling you. It’s my treat.”

The debate goes something like this in her head:

“My treat means a date right? He’s not asking the other people to come hang out, but then again there aren’t a lot of people working at the same time we are. Maybe he does this with all the new employees to get comfortable with them and get to know them as a human and not just a work partner. He is really nice. He’s also started to tell me about his family history. Maybe it was a mistake asking to see pictures of his halloween costume and talking about colaborating for cosplay. Maybe he thinks i’m hitting on him – but i’m not. Just new to town. Maybe he knows that and thinks the same and just wants to be friends. Jason at the café says he believes in men and women friendships. But don’t most guys just be nice with the hopes of getting in my pants? that’s what the last guy told me. That’s what my last boss did to me. Mee too. Sure sure sure sure sure. Just say no. Power walk back to your car and drive a stoney face home. Only cry for Tom Petty. Because it’s too soon. It’s always too soon.

AND HOW DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW I’M A LESBIAN?! I FEEL LIKE I EXUDE IT!

Afterglow

“What’s so amazing about you is that you don’t expect anything from me. Like most girls i’ve been with before are always like ‘is this it?’ … you know like is all we do is sit around having great sex and that’s all? I like that I don’t have to wine and dine you and that we got to skip all of that and just get right to the great sex part.”

“Thank you.”

I’m curled up naked on his bed after a good fucking. We tried a new position this time. I like it. Especially the way his penis tickles me when he finishes and it starts to relax inside of me.

He’s come back after taking a shower. He doesn’t stay long for pillow talk, more of a jump up and clean off and then get to work, because sex really inspires him he says.

“Now that is a sight I like to see.”

“hhhmmmmm?”

“A beautiful kitten laying naked on my bed.”

He takes out his camera and snaps some pictures of me. I’m his so it’s okay. “Do you need anything? Pancakes?” “Yes, please.” He goes into the living area and turns on his throw-back 80s electro-mod. I sign from the position he left me in, a child pose with legs further apart for access. My hips begin to ache. I reach my tail around and fluff it in my face. It makes me giggle.

“What? What are you giggling about you silly kitten?” I giggle again and then roll over onto mysids. Arms and legs in the air, big stretching, “oh nothing.” I have an afterward glow. I scratch my right ear and roll onto the floor taking our sex blanket with me, fashioning an old school toga. It drags behind me, my tail giving it life as I wander into the mailroom and curl onto the loveseat purring softly to the music.

“Someone’s happy.” I sparkle at him. He’s so handsome in the kitchen making pancakes. He’s not what would be considered a great beauty, but in my eyes, he’s the world. He has brown fluffy hair and a fit body. He’s tall and a bit chunky but i don’t mind. His arms are strong and it feels good when he strokes me.

It’s his eyes that i’m imprinted too.

The blue of the seas. All of the seas, changing hue and depth depending on the lighting and his mood. They’re both terrifying and addicting. When i’m the object of their gaze, i’m captive.